The winter was cold. We had an abundant amount of snow which was beautiful but often left me very stir crazy. I had forgotten what it was like to live so isolated. No close neighbors, very little traffic on the one lane country road, an atmosphere of seclusion. I recognize that especially in this COVID season, how lonely it is to live like this. I am longing for a deep rooted community but at the same time I am so dearly thankful for the connection that technology allows.
It is spring and we are seeing the budding flowers after the cold snowy winter. God is restoring hope in us and giving us the picture in creation to help understand. The warmth of the sun and the life beginning to sprout through the ground has given me deep creative inspiration. I have begun to oil paint again! For those who do not know, I majored in studio art and oil painting was my specialty. I haven’t painted since. I may even start selling paintings again- we shall see!
My first oil painting since college :)
We only have about 2 1/2 months remaining in MD and it’s flying by. In January I expressed to Stephen that if we left for California then, I would regret how I spent my time with my parents. I received and embraced the grace for isolating out of self protection rather than giving myself away in love and chose instead to trust the Lord to fill my inner being with the delight of His presence as I give myself away in love. So I took a different route.
The spring has brought on an abundance of opportunities to invest into my mom and spend time with her. She retired this past December and the warm weather has allowed for walks and talks :) (Pictured below are some walks in the woods). She is so hungry for the Lord, desiring to understand truth and to receive it in her whole being- her mind and affections! It’s wonderful to watch the Lord grow her desire for Himself and to be here in this time to help teach and admonish in the ways of Christ. We are going through Ruth together so I can help show her how to read the scriptures and assist her in feeling able to go to scripture on her own and not being afraid of how intimidating the Bible can be. Praise the Lord!
The Lord has also been working abundantly in Stephen’s heart. One of the huge reasons we took a leave of absence from seminary was for Stephen to be able to heal and process. It wasn’t until late January that the Lord really began to break down things inside of him such that he could realize and understand what was going on in his heart on its deepest levels. He has walked through a great deal of trials and suffering in his 25 years (tremendously more than I have) and in everything, he has found deep encouragement in the Lord and has never doubted God’s goodness- after all, it was humans who had failed him and sinful humans always will. But this time? Who is to blame? Who failed him? He never once thought it was me or that my body had failed him in sustaining the life of his child. Rather it was the only one who authors life and death. The only one to blame was God himself.
This recognition allowed a waterfall of healing to begin. And through it all- what is amazing- is how deeply the Lord has confirmed his sovereign holding on to Stephens faith. Even in Stephen’s rebellion, he has been deeply aware of the Lord’s intimate presence. God holds fast. When we are faithless, God is faithful. As odd as it seems, the doctrine of original sin has been the deepest and warmest nourishment to Stephens heart in re-establishing belief in God’s goodness. I’ll let you ask him about that one if you are curious to how that happened!
I planned a date for Stephen in Lancaster, PA and surprised him with one of his best friends Sean to be a part of our "date"...they even showed up in the SAME flannel! Some of you may remember when Sean flew to New Zealand to visit us for 10 days in the van- he is so dear to us!
Loneliness has been my closest friend in this time and grief and pain has been Stephen’s. (Well, Stephen says that I have been his closest friend but ya know we’re talking emotions here). Even nearer than our emotions has been our Heavenly Father who is faithfully walking through the valley of the shadow of death with each of us. His Word is true and it is enough. Jesus is the only unshakable one we can stand on. And stand we will, in the strength of His might alone.
Prayer Requests:
For my mom to feel the empowerment of the Spirit to be able to read and understand the Scriptures
For continued healing- body and heart for Stephen and I
For the Lord to strengthen Stephen and my hearts in the truth of His character
For upcoming good goodbyes and a faithful finish to our MD time (we depart for Cali in roughly 9 weeks)
We know the Lord has steps of faith for us to take but we are nervous. Pray for faith and provision from our Father!
Thank you so much for being a part of our lives! We love each of you dearly!! It is a joy and delight to get to share what the Father has been up to in our lives and to have you as our support team :)
Much Love,
The Byrd's
Some Highlights
Stephen surprised me for valentines day with a trip to California to visit the faculty of Westminster and our friends! It was a jam packed weekend but the sweetest one!
With the help of friends and family, we got Stephen a surfboard for Christmas. It has been a dream of his for a long time to learn to surf!
The deer love my parent yard. This is my view every morning during my devotional time :)
Stephen knew exactly what my heart needed- to be in community. It was phenomenally heart rejuvenating and really set a turning point in my perseverance and hope.
Stephens cousin Cody recently returned from serving in the military in Kuwait and it was a delight to catch up.
Our dear friend Amy sent us flowers by mail for the birthday of our baby girl. She makes us feel so loved and seen!
